Do your children know your philosophy on life? Do they know what your core values are and where you stand on important topics that impact their lives? Have you ever thought about putting it in writing?
A little
more than a year ago I finished writing a book to my kids and gave them both a
copy of the book on Christmas day. I have two teenagers; an 18 year old boy and
15 year old girl. My son is driving, and my daughter has her first boyfriend. A
chapter dedicated to each of those topics can be found in my book! The book was
about 80 pages long and covered all the important topics for a teenager:
driving, sex, drugs & alcohol, God & religion, family, marriage,
education, work, ambition, honesty & integrity, and several others.
In my mind the book served several purposes. First and foremost, it helped emphasize how much I love both of them. Receiving a personal book from their dad definitely made an impact on them. I try to make sure to tell both of my kids how much I love them every day, but putting that down in writing provides them something they will have forever.
Second, the book provided clear direction and guidance on many important topics. Sure, I have had the “sex talk” with our son, and my wife has done the same with our daughter, but there will come a time when they may have questions about sex and be too embarrassed to ask. I hope they will revisit that chapter in the book to look for my advice. I would much rather have them turn to a book I wrote rather than asking one of their peers or trying to figure out what is appropriate from a TV show.
Third, the book was an opportunity for me to share my deepest thoughts, my philosophy on life, what my core values are, and where I stand on important topics that impact their lives. My kids know my faith, but they may not know what I believe about the “Big Bang” theory, or my thoughts on evolution. They know that mom and I are married, but do they know our thoughts on marriage, dating or living with someone before getting married? They know that I am a “family man,” but do they know how important family really is to me?
Fourth, the book leaves a legacy. Let’s face it, we are not going to live forever. Hopefully we will all live to see our kids get married and raise families of their own, but in reality many parents die before that happens. My dad died shortly after I was married, before either one of my children was born. My dad was an awesome man and a wonderful mentor who always had great, calming advice. I miss being able to talk to him and hear his words of wisdom. I would do anything to have a book from my dad now...
About half way through writing this book to my kids, I started to have such a passion for the idea that I began to develop a website called www.book2mykids.com to make it easy for other parents to do the same thing. This website helps parents put their thoughts into a book in an easy and organized fashion. There are suggested chapters and topics to choose from and a large selection of “shared content” that can be copied in part or entirety, with little or no modifications. Like a greeting card, if the message says what you feel, you can use the words as your own.
Please consider this kind of gift for your kids. Even if they don’t act like they appreciate the book today, they will certainly look at the book later in life and treasure the thoughts you put down in writing. Giving my two kids that book for Christmas was one of the best feelings I have had, because I know I am leaving them with my deepest thoughts and advice in a permanent form. I know they will look back at the book for years to come and hopefully one day they will do the same for their kids. Maybe they will even pass my book along to the next generation.
