"Each morning I get up before your mother. I go downstairs and I make the coffee for her and for me. She loves the fact that when she gets up there is a freshly brewed pot of coffee waiting for her. Well, actually by the time that she wakes up it is only half a pot! However, she is still pleased. Every time that I have to travel somewhere for work, she'll ask me how long I'm going to be gone, and when I tell her, she'll remark, "that's x number of days that I have to make my own coffee!" Now why do I tell you this? Well the reason why is that for a marriage to work you have to want to do the little things that make your spouse happy. If you put yourself first, you will have a tough time, however if you put your wife first, and if she puts her husband first, guess what, it works out.
I have found that when we have disagreements, or fights or whatever, it is always a result of one of us not putting the other one first. After almost sixteen years of marriage, I have a really tough time counting on one hand the number of times that I think your mother put herself first. She however has to borrow at least three of the dog's paws to help her keep track of the number of times that I have failed to put myself second! In all honesty, I'll "get my Irish up" when I get impatient or frustrated because something that I wanted to do starts to look like something that I won't be getting the chance to do due to some request or another.
What usually happens next is me whining or thumping about the house as I try in a vain effort to do what I want to do. After some grumbling, I'll admit my pig-headedness, apologize for whatever I may have said, and do whatever it is that needed to be done.
Moral of the story, when you deviate from putting the other person first, the quicker that you right your ship, make up, and move on, the better everything will be.
Make your marriage a journey of little joys, taking pleasure in making your spouse happy, and not trying to "win" all the fights, and each day will be a blessing as your relationship grows stronger and your love grows deeper. And lastly, always remember to turn your socks right-side-out when you throw them in the hamper.Oh, and as my parents told me, "never let the sun set on your anger." In other words, resolve any differences that you and your spouse may have before you go to bed. Literally. If you go to bed mad, you have lost an opportunity for humility, and humility is the foundation for the greatest strength of all....Love."
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